April 4, 2009

Notes from a great day...despite initial appearances.

Today started out pretty good...it was the last Saturday of our really long hiatus from High School and I was feeling domestic {read: I was psyching myself up for a day of house cleaning}. We slept until about 10, which is a nice new phenomenon. Coffee was brewing and I had a good scrubbing. There is nothing quite as refreshing as a good scrubdown. My momma taught me that, even when I used to try and skip out on my daily ablutions. Sad that it took me until twenty-9 to figure that one out. {shrugs}

As I stepped from the bath, the skies clouded over. Our dinner plans got moved to lunch and I had about 10 minutes to get out the door. {But, what about the coffee? I hadn't even poured my first cup.} My face scrunched up and my mental age dropped a full twenty-5 years younger than this old body of mine. Needless to say, ManInCharge {Philip} couldn't quite understand my reaction. To be honest, I couldn't either. I did my best, poured my first cup of coffee and steeled myself for this unexpected change in plans. I didn't make it. I just couldn't leave the house. These days I am seeming to have more of those kinds of days than not. It's taking its toll, but we're doing our best and I am learning how to handle this strange feeling of not quite being able to handle the world around me.

ManInCharge left right on time {a little frustrated at my inability to roll with the punches} and I got myself dressed and wrote my girl T a mail. I let her know about these end-of-winter blues that just seem to have me down and it felt good to let some one know {hi! i'm alive, i'm just blue...but i miss you}. That goes for all of you too. I took a good long look at that twenty-9 year-old face in the mirror and scared the four year old me right on out of my brain. I spent the last few moments of the morning {and a good few hours of the afternoon} doing the only thing I know to do when the world feels a bit out of control.

I rearranged the bedroom.

I don't know why, but moving things around, getting every last dust bunny and finally putting away all of our clothes does me a world of good. This is another strategy I learned from my momma. While she cleans like a tornado, I have adapted her strategy to rearrange and clean like a tornado.

By 2:15 all of the bunnies had been banished and the rain had really started to pour on down. I didn't mind, I had my *girlie* songs playing as I danced with my broom {which reminds me, I must buy a standard issue broom, these Japanese brooms come up to my thigh and give me an awful back-ache}. Enter ManInCharge, back from the lunch that I just couldn't make it to. {At this point in the day the *girlie* music was switched off...there are somethings that don't sound good to men that women just adore.} He and I had a great chat over a cup of tea and chased those grey skies away with talk of what is next to come. While ManInCharge went on to study for his Big Test{shh! that is a secret}, I did some day dreaming and thinkin'. Man my brain hurt after a rainy afternoon of thinkin'.

This is what I think:
  1. We are here for a little under 500 days, and we are really ready to be moving on to the next phase of our life together. This time in backwater Japan has been good for us {and hey, we have a long time left here!}. When we came here we had many goals as individuals and as a couple to help build our family's path. I think I have been ignoring that path as of late, and hence have been quite a negative nancy.
  2. It's time I swept the cobwebs off of my smile and start looking for Him in my daily life. There is only so much that ManInCharge can do to help me, the rest is between me and the ManUpstairs. I don't think I have been a good steward of my relationship with Him and I think I need to be more present.
  3. I haven't written much here because I sometimes don't have much to say, and sometimes what I have to say isn't really all that glamorous. {Who am I kidding, you all know me, I am just not that glamorous!} I need to write more, for myself, not just here, but in correspondence.
  4. Half a world away is not a legitimate excuse for letting my friendships waste away. {And I can only blame the blues so much before folks really start to get sick of me.} I am sorry, and I will do better.
  5. Hmmm...that's about all I can remember...
So now you know where I have been, not the best of places, but heavens knows not the worst either. I'm going to try and bring ya'll along on our journey from now on. I feel like this might shift more towards my journey, but hey, ManInCharge doesn't really do the blog thing anywho. It's about 12:30 here now {well past this Cinderella's pumpkin time}, but I have had a wonderful day. It started well, got a little rough and then continued on wonderfully thanks to many cups of tea and a great best friend.

We closed this evening with a rare treat: Movie Night!

ManInCharge and I just watched Quantum Solace for the first time [we splurged and bought the HD version from itunes this evening {i may have snuck in some choice new girlie music during the download}]. After some careful positioning of limbs under the newly positioned Kotatsu we sat back, relaxed and enjoyed. You see, we are a Bond family. I am not sure if it is because of ManInCharge's love of Daniel Craig's pectoral muscles or my personal adoration of Judi Dentch as the woman I want to be one day, but either way we are smitten. I was a little nervous, most had said this one was not as good as the last, but we enjoyed it immensely. I was squeezing ManInCharge's thigh through most of it and he was laughing at my absolute fear of on screen violence and bout of hiccups from all of the stress of it. All in all, today was win.

So now that I have decided to step over the blogging-threshold from impersonal notes to a window into my life, I am heading to bed and I leave you with an image from our latest excursion to Miyajima:
okay maybe one more...
oh what the heck...this guy was so durn cute...

okay okay, and here is us, enjoying the beginings of spring...boy I wish it would climb up these hills soon...

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