January 18, 2010

...27 weeks until the contract expires...

Have you ever noticed that I don't really talk about my work life?

I don't share much about work because it makes me feel pretty ugly sometimes. It makes me feel like a whiner. ManInCharge often compares it to a hybrid of The Office and OfficeSpace, with Japanese actors. The largest difference is that it is not funny when you actually live in that strange land.

But, last Friday I felt on top of the world.  Last Friday I handed in my letter, stating that I would not be renewing my annual contract.  My boss did his best to convince me to reconsider.  He was very nice.  He was very sincere.  My heart beat a little faster as I insisted that no, this would be my final year.

Maybe my boss wants me to stay because it is cheaper than finding a replacement. Maybe he doesn't want me to finish work four weeks early due to my need to use my vacation time before the contract expires. Maybe he has decided that a plane ticket to America is a bit much to spend during this fiscal year. In all reality his wanting to keep me on has more to do with these factors than me as a person and as a teacher.

That is okay.
This world is often run effectively through calculation & deferred risk instead of emotion.

Why was I left feeling on top of the world?
Because, despite the struggles I have faced during my time in this alternate universe, I have grown as an employee, as a teacher and as an individual. This environment has been an excellent place to practice patience, to learn to be reasonable, to not carry my emotions on my face, to stop reacting and start listening. I thank Him everyday for such a cocoon to learn and be taught. This environment, often laughably absurd, has been a shelter for me to learn how to interact with the world. For that, I will always be grateful.

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