March 25, 2010

The HP: Volume 3

In an attempt to move this dump truck of a self improvement project forward today I'm going to post about the strategy and reveal a blessing.
So...this Happiness Project...I am one week in, and let me tell you, it is working!  Sunday was a day in which my former self would have lost the plot completely.  Current self did okay.  Current self didn't worry too much and didn't really feel any need to assign blame or guilt.
FREEZE - question time - "SillyGirl - How many people are you?"

Oh! I'm glad you asked.  I am one - but I have three parts.  Former, Current and Becoming.  I started thinking about my development as a triptych of past present and future when I started trying to live with greater awareness about a year ago.  It's something ManInCharge taught me. 

Former Self: 
Former Self owns all of my past mistakes and achievements.  She is the woman I once was.  With each passing day she grows and changes as those new experiences fold into her.  By compartmentalizing my past I am able to more easily stop myself from falling into bad habits.  I am also able to review successes and capture what works for me and move forward.  It's nothing more than a "That was then, this is now..." approach.

Current Self:
That's me.  As I am right now.  No excess baggage and no future dreaming.  This is me conscious and aware during all elements of my life.  Taking ownership and being aware of each moment - whether it be big decisions, hugging ManInCharge, washing my hands, typing my thoughts - this is Current Self.

Becoming Self:
That's who I picture myself growing into with each passing day.  When I close my eyes and dream of the woman I have been called to be.  When I focus on becoming the wife ManInCharge deserves.  When I imagine the blessing of children in our family.  Becoming Self is a goal always stretching out farther on the horizon of my mind.
By releasing my past onto my Former Self, I have released my guilt over past mistakes along with her.  By releasing my future onto my Becoming Self, I have released my dreams to soar farther and farther than I could ever fly alone.  Setting those two women free - who I was and who I will be - has freed me to love being in this very moment.  To love being who I am.
And now my blessing for today:
My husband is my greatest teacher.
Every night before we fall asleep,
I ask him for advice and for help in becoming my better self.
I am blessed to have such a great guide.

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