April 23, 2010

remembering myself

I like stuff.
I have what I would consider to be a lot of stuff.
I live in 500 square feet.
ManInCharge & I fill it with ourselves, our clothes, & our food.
This feels like enough for me.
Sometimes it feels like too much.
 {everything that I brought to Japan}
I also like pretty clothes.
But.
I don't think I need a lot of pretty clothes.
And.
Right now.
My closets are full.
I am moving again in three months.
So.
No new clothes for me.
...
I hate the idea of being a consumer.
It makes me sick to my stomach to spend money.
I think it's important to remind myself that I am a human being.
I am not a marketing executive's target audience.
I am a person.
I am not a consumer.
OK?
{I am also an excellent believer in the ads...
so I have to remind myself daily not to buy things.}
...
I need to remember.
Just remember to be.
To do.
To live.
Life is more fun when I am just enjoying with my money safely in the bank.
...
Maybe it is because life is so expensive in Japan.
Have I told you? 
4L of milk {roughly a gallon, a weeks worth for us} costs $8.50 with today's exchange rate.
...
I am tired of economic recovery being tied so closely to consumer purchasing.
True recovery would be better if it were based upon a production cycle.
Sigh.
A production cycle is no use without consumption.
...
Do we really need all of this stuff?
I think my closet is full enough.
My pantry is well stocked.
...
And still I would be dishonest if I didn't admit:
When something shiny catches my eye, I struggle to turn away.
It's hard to hold onto my ideals sometimes.
I feel like I have to try my hardest to not consume.
I suppose excessive consumption is like gluttony.
When I remind myself of this - it makes it easier to walk away.
Not shopping is just like not putting food in my mouth.
Sometimes its just the right thing to do.
Thanks for listening.

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