April 19, 2010

Whoops!

Tonight I'm going to take a trip down memory lane.
Let me tell you that I have one great regret in my life.
All of my other regrets are nothing compared to this one.
This one makes me cringe and think "If I had only known."
It's a doozie.

The day after we met, ManInCharge invited me to go with him to Spain and Morocco...in a week.

I said no.  I thought he was just being nice.  I was afraid to take vacation.  I hadn't managed to become debt free & was actually rapidly expanding my credit card balance.  I had a dog who I couldn't leave overnight because she would not poop without me.  I had a million and one logical reasons to not take him seriously or even think about it.  One week later I drove him to the airport.  At that point I wished that I could go, but still didn't really understand.  I still thought he was just being nice, just offering.

No.  ManInCharge was serious.  He wanted me to go with him.  He went alone.  He missed me.  He took detailed notes in order to tell me all about his trip.  He wrote me emails sharing all of the things we should have been together to do.  I missed him like mad.  It was sometime during those ten days I knew.  I would never say no to him again.  ManInCharge wanted me in his life.  I wanted to be in his.  Instead we were an ocean apart.  He was adventuring solo and I was stuck behind the desk of a job I would quit by Christmas because I was afraid to ask to use my vacation days.  This is my biggest regret - though in fairness, I did not realize he was serious until we were married six months later and he told me I missed our honeymoon.

Tonight I was looking at the photos he took for me. 
I always feel sad to have missed this adventure.  Whoops.  I suppose instead of focusing on what I missed, I should focus on what we have now.  We have a great excuse to go back to Spain & Morocco.  We have each other to travel together through this life as a team.

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