February 21, 2012

Struggling with Identity and Coming Back


What is a girl to do when she carves a niche for her blog and then her situation changes?  I suppose most folks would adapt, but I have proven to be one who is less than adept in the rolling with it department.  I began writing in 2008 as a way to reflect on, journal about and share our time in Japan.  During the two years we were abroad I did a reasonable job of satisfying my goals.

Upon our return, I really struggled with this space.  For the first six months I found myself writing for two reasons, because I had to publish something and I felt compelled to justify myself, and it felt all wrong.  And so I stopped.  Each time I came back it was out of a sense of obligation, until today. 

Phil and I are still on a journey through our world, though it is decidedly less exotic.  Right now he's a student, I'm a housewife, and we've chosen to live without an income for three years.

My life is filled with blessings and yet I struggle in my daily grind and the changes that have come with growth.  In 2011 mine was a journey that took a lot of energy, one I couldn't begin to figure out how to share for fear of sounding like I was preaching, soliciting, competing, or whining.  None of those things were on my agenda, and so I stayed silent and focused on the task at hand.

Today, my path is centered by love and I am opening the door once more, hoping to share with any who stumble upon this space.  Oh.  And we had a baby.

{Eloise as I never want to forget her - my five pound sack of sugar.}


Ellen said...

I welcome you back, with whatever you have to say.

Jeanette Musselwhite said...

Congrats! Glad you're back.


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